The Sword Thief
by Shimmer-chan
Summary: Yes, Naruto died... and got sent to the wrong afterlife. He and Kyuubi collect the miscellaneous powers of the Bleachverse and alter the world! No yaoi. Currently undergoing editing.
1. Chapter 1

The Sword Thief

We all know that everyone dies eventually, right? Well, it's Naruto's time, but he gets sent to the wrong afterlife!

"Well, shit," Naruto shook his head in exasperation. "_Honestly! _Can't I be normal for just this once?!"

Still lamenting his oddness, Naruto looked around and spotted two guys in white outfits rushing in his direction using what _almost _looked like Shunshin, but made a sound like radio static.

As they got closer to him, he noticed something about the taller of the two. He knew that he should probably make nice with the locals, but he couldn't help himself- the guy looked too funny. He made an attempt to contain his laughter, but quickly failed.

"SPOON! AHAHAHAHA!" He pointed and laughed at the taller one with the eyepatch.

Spoonhead -as Naruto now thought of him- roared his rage and attacked Naruto with his crescent-moon-scythe weapon. Naruto, being a ninja, easily dodged out of the way and started charging his chakra, which, now that he noticed it, seemed almost... heavier, somehow. He decided to put it out of his mind for the moment; he had bigger problems to worry about. Like the guy trying to take off his head.

"You little bastard! I'm gonna _kill _you!" Spoonhead shouted.

"Really, now? I highly doubt that." Naruto taunted in reply.

"You'll never even scratch Nnoitra-sama! He's go-" Nnoitra's lackey found himself cut off by an irate blond ninja.

"Pfft! Yeah, whatever, I- oooh, nice weapons!"

Tesla just blinked for a second, startled, but that was all Naruto needed. He instantly charged up a Rasengan, Shunshined behind the the lackey, and jammed a Rasengan into his skull, while taking advantage of Nnoitra's shock at his speed to snap out a chakra-enhanced kick to his side, sending the oddly-dressed man flying. At this point he could not care less about fair play.

Tesla's body fell forward, head gone. Naruto picked up the sword from where it had fallen, as it was a well-crafted piece and, while not an expert, he knew his way around swords. Added to that, he was fairly sure that, wherever he was, he would not be able to just pop by a weapons shop and pick up some kunai. He quickly nicked his thumb and wrote out a storage seal on his left forearm, going as fast as he could so as to finish before Nnoitra recovered.

When he had finished the seal, and was about to put the sword into it, he heard a whisper from Kyuubi.

"**Boy. T****hese are zanpakuto, or some variation thereof. Do not treat it as mere battle-fodder. They are living weapons that are born from their wielder's soul. Normally you would not be able to use these, but as I have threatened to eat the spirit, it acquiesced and granted you permission to use it. Collect as many as you can, if you would."**

"_Why? I already have plenty of power. You saw to that."_

"**There is an old saying, 'There is always someone better'. It definitely applies here; added to that, you are in unfamiliar territory. Perhaps they have an innate ability to render all of your techniques inert? I refuse to die, again, because you were a terminal case of Did Not Do The Research.**** And there is truly no downside to this; maybe a higher level version of the technique, but this? No. Besides, since when were you one to turn down power?"**

Naruto grinned wryly. Of course the fox was looking after its own skin. Meanwhile, Nnoitra recovered, and was glaring hatefully at Naruto.

"You little bastard! How dare you so much as touch me! I'm a god of my kind!"

Naruto's eyes hardened at this. "A god, ne? Well, lets see how a god stands against a demon!" Thus, Naruto commenced his attack, unsheathing and slashing quickly and brutally with the zanpakuto he took from Tesla, forcing Nnoitra to release his, lest he be overwhelmed by the sheer speed and number of the attacks.

"Inore, Santa Teresa!"

Naruto's eyes widened at the sight of the newly six-armed Espada. However, he received another whisper from his tenant.

"**Your sword's command is 'Uchifucero, Verruga.' Just so you know, you will not get quite the same effects as the previous user, and won't be able to seal the sword's powers completely again."**

Naruto sent a thought inward to acknowledge the statement, then focused.

"Uchifucero, Verruga."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- sorry for the long wait... I was being lazy *sweatdrop*

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto or Bleach.

-l-

"Uchifucero, Verruga," Naruto intoned calmly.

A similar cloud of smoke to Nnoitra's enveloped Naruto. As it cleared, it revealed that Naruto had risen to about seven feet in hight and gained a hollow mask resembling a boar's head.

Nnoitra found this amusing. "Obviously, you can't use Tesla's sword ri-" he found himself cut off by Naruto resuming his attack.

"_Kyuu? Why am I seeing things in black and white?" _He thought at Kyuubi, while throwing a kick at Nnoitra.

"**A side effect of the release. Don't worry, it'll go away when you reseal."**

"Ah." Naruto said, this time out loud.

"What, finally realized you're never gonna beat me?" Nnoitra panted. _'Damn, he's fast, far faster than Tesla ever was...'_

"No, just figured out how to use this power right, I was accidentally making it suppress my movement." Lies, of course, but, as he was a ninja, he truly could not care less.

Nnoitra's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets _'Suppressing? And he was that fast? How am-'_ Nnoitra's thought was cut off by Naruto's punch at his head. He dodged, but only just, only to have a kick aimed at his chest knock him back.

Naruto saw his predicament and decided to take advantage of it. He sonidoed behind his opponent and Rasenganed the back of his skull. The force of the blast snapped Nnoitra's neck and sent Santa Teresa flying at Naruto, who had Shunshined back in front of his opponent.

Naruto, minding Kyuubi's advice, caught the moon-shaped weapon. He resealed Verruga and put it in a hastily made storage seal on his arm. He put Santa Teresa in the same seal and started walking in the direction Nnoitra was heading.

He noticed his hight, which had come down from seven feet as he resealed, was now at six feet even. He mentally danced for joy at the thought that he was taller then his old rival, Sasuke.

Naruto whipped around as a black tear ripped the sky above and behind him a way. He hastily unsealed Verruga and whipped around to block the incoming attack form behind. His first glance at his opponent led to one thought. _That orange... looks uncannily close to my old jumpsuit... ugh... _Naruto's eye twitched and he mentally berated himself for _ever_ wearing that particular shade. His current preferred color of white wasn't much better, but still! At least it blends in to some environments...

"Close the Garganta, Arrancar!"

Naruto's eye twitched again as he stared at his opponent incredulously.

"What the hell makes you think I'm an Arrancar?"

"Your mask fragment! Stop trying to trick me, dammit!" the teen practically shouted, pointing at Naruto's Jaryia-like headband.

Naruto's eyes narrowed as he began to charge his chakra again. They disengaged swords and the teen swung his sword down and shouted, "Getsuga Tenshou!" Naruto easily tossed a Rasengan at the crescent-shaped attack, dissipating it. While the teen was still registering this, he leapt up and kicked the giant meat-cleaver out of his hands. And, for good measure, Naruto axe-kicked him back to ground. He waited until the teen got up, then Shunshined behind him, Verruga at his neck.

"Now, I believe the lessons for today are: 'Never attack an unknown' and 'Plan your attacks carefully.' Wouldn't you agree?" He leaned a little closer to the orange-hair's neck and said, "By now you ought to have processed that I'm no Arrancar, right? Good!" Naruto removed his sword and patted him on the head. He glanced at the teen, before saying, "So what're ya called, kid?"

"Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Good, now who's that?" Naruto asked, pointing at a blue-haired Arrancar coming towards them.

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. I fought him earlier."

Naruto nodded and sauntered over to the fallen Arrancar, who was trying to stand. "Y'know, trying to fight as you are is probably a bad idea. In fact, most would even consider it stupid. I could just as easily put this-" he twirled a kunai on his finger at that statement, "-through your spine as breathe."

"**Kid."**

"_Yeah Kyuu?"_

"**You have a zanpakuto of your own now. It seems that you're adaptable as ever. Her name is Ginsora and she allows you to drag the target into your mindscape. The catch to this being: if they decide to go berserk and destroy everything they see in here, it puts serious strain on your mind. Oh, and, depending on what kind of energy they wield, it's also possible for them to be healed- mentally and physically- from my energy. Possibly even empowered, now that I think of it."**

"_That could make things- ah, interesting..."_

"Kyuubi-san, you're forgetting that if we work together, we can trap 'em here permanently.~"

"**True, but Naruto, if we do that, you have to sleep for a day soon afterwards. Within a week. Otherwise... your mind snaps from the strain. Well, if they have absolutely no regrets or apprehensions doing so, perhaps not. Effectively, though, that's a rule."**

"_Interesting. Lots of risk for a huge reward... Wanna test it?"_

"**That's my vessel. And if Sora-san feels up to it, sure"**

"I'm all for it!~ My release command is 'Scour the spirit', kay?~"

"Okay then, Scour the spirit, _Ginsora_!"

Grimmjow suddenly poofed away.

"Orange-hair."

Ichigo twitched. "Yeah?"

"Guard me for a moment. I really don't feel like bringing out a summon. Be warned, though, I AM A NINJA, and if you try to kill me, well, let's just say the muscle-memory for snapping someone's neck is _deeply_ ingrained in me."

Ichigo paled a little, but nodded. "_What have I gotten myself into?"_

-Mindscape-

Naruto appeared in his mindscape, right behind Grimjow, with nary a sound.

"Like the 'scape?"

Grimmjow whipped around to stare at him for a moment. Then he started shouting, "What the hell? Who are you? What the hell are you doing to me? Where is this?"

Naruto sighed. "In order, the answers to your questions are: None, Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, trapping you here and, hm... _borrowing_ your abilities, my mindscape."

Grimmjow sat down in the murky water and rubbed his face, now noticing the collar around his neck. He looked a question at Naruto.

"Yes, that is the physical manifestation of my power over you. Don't look so horrified, I don't plan on doing anything awful to you."

The blue-haired arrancar growled, and leaped for Naruto's throat. Naruto merely held up a hand and froze his would-be attacker in place.

"My mindscape, my rules. In here, I am effectively god. Try something again and I'll feed you to Kyuubi back there." Naruto pointed at the aforementioned demon, who grinned nastily, showing as many teeth as possible.

Grimmjow glanced in the direction of Naruto's point and paled. He growled, but nodded.

"I want a sparring partner, dammit."

Naruto grinned at that, and let the arrancar drop to the floor.

"Perhaps you'll get one or two." And with that, he left the mindscape.

-Las Noches-

Naruto opened his eyes and did a quick survey of his surroundings. _'Let's see, a bit of time has passed, there are a couple of people- ah, one orange-haired teen, wow, a green-haired chibi, the girl, and... HOLY SHIT!'_

Naruto immediately jumped up and unsealed Pantera. "Get behind me. Now."

Ichigo was confused. "Why?"

"If you can't feel that massive power source, you can't control your own power enough to fight it."

Ichigo nodded reluctantly, but did as ordered. He really didn't want to piss the guy that crushed Grimjow with aplomb off at the moment.

Naruto turned back to the source of the power, and brought Pantera up. "Grind, _Pantera_."

The ninja smoke poofed around Naruto again, and when it cleared, he had yellow-furred fox ears in place of his normal ones, three tails swinging lazily behind him, and two inch long claws coming from his fingertips. He glanced behind him, and noted the terrain, and letting Ichigo's group see his now-purple eyes. Naruto nodded, and braced himself.

He started exuding chakra, almost crushing Nel and Orihime with the weight of it. He then compressed most of it in front of his claws. When Uluquiorria appeared Naruto quickly snapped the ball of energy in his direction, causing a large explosion.

"Not yet," Naruto said, informing Ichigo that the fight wasn't over.

"Impressive." Uluquiorria calmly walked out of the crater, brushing soot of himself.

"I try." Naruto lunged at the espada, slashing his claws viciously.

Uluquiorria, thinking that his power was wild and unfocused, didn't try to dodge. He was very surprised when the claws left bloody gashed in their wake.

"I've long since learned how to harness my power, as ya might be able to tell." Naruto casually flicked his claws clean of blood.

Uluquiorria drew his sword.

"Shall we dance?" Naruto cocked his head to the side.

With that, a furious battle erupted.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Okay, just so you all know, Naruto will NOT be paired with any Bleach character. I might find a way to add in a character from his universe, I haven't decided yet. Ichigo may or may not be paired with anyone. (I, as far as I know, am not very good at romance.) If he is paired with anyone, it'll probably be Nell, Unohana, or Rukia. (Most likely the former) Feel free to make suggestions, but, in the end, I'll decide.

Ulquiorra slashed his sword at Naruto, who ducked under it and tried to slice Ulquiorra stomach open. Ulquiorra quickly leaned back to dodge, but Naruto continued his attack by springing forward and clawing at the Espada's face. Ulquiorra blocked that attack with his sword and jumped back.

"Not bad, not bad at all! I's been a while since I've had any sort of exercise," said Naruto, nodding to himself. "shall we take this up a notch?"

"Indeed. Enclose, Murciélago."

"Interesting!" He snickered. "Orochimaru would be going bloody _nuts_!" Laughed Naruto as the smoke obscuring Ulquiorra's form dissipated.

Naruto leaned forward slightly and simply _disappeared_. Ulquiorra brought a javelin up to block Naruto's strike to his neck. He retaliated by stabbing his weapon at Naruto's head. Naruto tilted his head to the side and rushed forward.

**"I guess now would be a good time to tell you about Ginsora's other ability."**

_"Seriously?"_

**"No, just joking. However, the form you are currently using is the lowest state of her shikai. Full shiaki allows you to bring things from within your mindscape to the outside, to a certain extent. You have to be able to manifest it on the inside of your mindscape before you can materialize it, though. Essentially, you have to split your mind in two: one part fighting the outside battle, and another to create things in here, which you can then use. Or, if you rather, you could just give me a little leeway to create some things in here..?" **

_"Yeah, no. That's not happening. Besides- battle meditation, remember?" _

**"Since when did you master that? I know for a fact that you've never used it. I would have known!" **

_"Ha. Sure you would have. I mean, it's not like we're having a conversation in the middle of a battle or anything, nooooo. Because everyone always thinks faster than their synapses should be able to fire."_

**"How did I not notice that, again? Oh well, I'll get you back for that later. For now, though, split your consciousness and let's kick this up a notch." **

_"And that is one thing I can agree with you on!" _

Naruto spun the sword once, and channeled further chakra into it. The sword instantly changed, with just a small cloud of energy briefly obscuring it beforehand. It changed into an elegant black sword that gently fades to an ocean blue near where the point would be. Instead of a point, however, the blade curved back into a small hook shape, with a slightly smaller hook just a little bit behind it. In the center of the blade, there was a electric blue design, vaguely resembling lightning. The blade curved out and back in in the center of the blade lengthwise, to form a small point. The handguard was formed by the lower half of the blade curving into another hook shape, this one not as extreme as the others, to protect where Naruto's fingers would be. The top went straight into the back of the blade. The tsuka curved gently as well, ending in a vague bat wing design.

Naruto blocked Ulquiorra's thrown javelin, and his mindscape-clone formed a long, thin beam of lightning chakra, ready to be used. Dodging the second javelin, he thrust the tip of the sword at Ulquiorra, triggering the switch from mindscape to reality.

"Heki!" he shouted as the black beam of energy shot at Ulquiorra, almost taking out an eye.

As Ulquiorra was recovering, Naruto rushed forward and hacked at his opponent's head. Ulquiorra saw this, and ducked under the blade. He instantly made for the opening left in Naruto's guard and stabbed a javelin at his stomach. It hit.

"Ouch." was all Naruto said as he gripped the javelin and crushed it, leaving behind a small hole that healed in a few seconds.

Ulquiorra jumped back, away from Naruto, and started his second transformation. Naruto saw this and smirked.

"Resurrección: Segunda Etapa."

"I don't think so!" Naruto appeared behind Ulquiorra and stabbed Ginsora through his stomach.

Ulquiorra instantly disappeared. Naruto let Ginsora poof away, and dropped to his knees, clutching his head.

"Goddammit, that **hurts**!" Naruto growled. "Shoulda asked the fox first..." Naruto shook his head and got up. He turned to Ichigo. "Now, what's going on?"

Ichigo blinked at him. "You- don't know?"

Naruto glared at the younger male. "If I knew I wouldn't be asking. Frankly, the only thing here I have a clue about are the zanpakuto."

Blink. Blink.

"Oh, just get over it already."

"But-"

"Get. Over. It. _Now_."

"But-"

Naruto just gave him the Look.

"Fine. We are currently in Hueco Mundo, world of the Hollows. Hollows are souls that give in to their negative emotions and transform into a monstrous state. I'm here to rescue Inoue." He points in her direction. "I'm a Substitute Shinigami. Shinigami live in Soul Society and protect normal souls from Hollows, among other things. There's also the Human World, which is in between Soul Society and Hueco Mundo."

Naruto nodded. "Makes sense. Thanks. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm about to pass out."

Ichigo barely got a "Wha-" out before Naruto hit the dirt.

There was silence for a few moments. Then,

"Awww, shit! Now I have to carry him along, too!"


End file.
